Each of us faces obstacles that bring hurt, resentment, or bitterness. To protect your health, happiness, and success, you must leave those negative feelings behind. The most effective way is through genuine forgiveness, and that is for your sake, not the offender’s. And, forgiveness does not mean approving what happened, forgetting the event, or restoring the relationship. It simply means releasing the emotional and physical burden you’re carrying.

Why Forgiveness Matters

Unforgiveness keeps your body in a low-grade stress response. It elevates cortisol, raises blood pressure, weakens immunity, and drains energy. Meanwhile, the person who hurt you often moves on unaffected. You’re the one paying the price.

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, MD, director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure, and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease, and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health. 

True forgiveness is linked to lower stress, reduced risk of heart attack, better sleep, lower blood pressure, and decreased symptoms of anxiety and depression. Research by Dr. Loren Toussaint and others has found that increases in forgiveness lead to measurable drops in stress and improved mental health.

True forgiveness goes beyond a mental decision—it’s a sincere emotional shift that brings inner peace. You still remember what happened, but the memory loses its painful grip.

The Morter Forgiveness Process

Dr. M. T. Morter, Jr. developed this practical 5-step process:

1. Forgive yourself — Release any self-blame or guilt related to the situation. Accept that you did the best you could at the time.
2. Forgive the other person — Let go of the resentment for any harm they caused.
3. Give the other person permission to forgive you — In your mind or heart, release them from any need to hold resentment toward you.
4. See the good in the situation — Identify the lesson learned or personal growth that came from it.
5. Be thankful — Express gratitude for the wisdom gained and for your ability to move forward.

Repeat as needed. This process works for forgiving others and yourself.

The best time to practice is right before sleep, when your brain consolidates the day’s experiences. Clear the negativity so you store peace instead of resentment on your “hard drive.”

By practicing forgiveness regularly, you remove heavy emotional weight and create space for better health, stronger relationships, and a more positive future. Start tonight with one situation that’s weighing on you. Your body and mind will thank you.

Link to Morter March Monday Rebroadcast: