Dr. Ted here! Each of us can be and do great things, yet we often don’t. And, from my experience – nearly 40 years of training and teaching – there is a very specific and predictable pattern each of us exhibits, which holds us back. This pattern can sabotage our best dreams and our best hopes for our success. It is etched deep inside and can seem very logical and reasonable, yet it doesn’t serve us well. It derails our path to our greater good, our best self. Our ability to follow through with our plans for success falls short. Our dreams don’t always seem to materialize with the passion and delivery we think and hope they will. So ask yourself: Why do I fall short of my dreams, my goals, and my success?
Here’s what I know. There is a specific and deliberate course of action or, more truthfully, inaction you follow. It’s been with you since a very young age, and unless specific steps are taken to release this pattern, you will take it to your grave. You will blame others, look for excuses, and never realize your fullest potential. It’s all about self-doubt. For over 20 years, in live programs with thousands of excited participants, I’ve asked this question: What holds you back? And, the answer always comes down to not being “enough.” When you are stuck in this pattern at least two predictable behaviors are evident.
You need the approval of others to make a decision.
You fear disappointing your family or spouse by making a decision they might not approve of. You place undue stress on yourself worrying they will not support you or, worse, they will patronize your decision. You feel stuck in the wait-and-see mode. Rather than listening to your inner wisdom, you bat ideas around in your head trying to talk yourself into or out of the entire decision-making process. Self-doubt takes over and you feel helpless, almost paralyzed to act. However, when you finally decide to go with your gut and with your heart, you get in charge of your outcome and your happiness. Honestly, if I had always listened to others’ opinions, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’ve learned that by making decisions based on my instincts and my gut, I can create the happiness I deserve.
You compare yourself to everyone else.
If you look at someone who has been in business for several years, you see their success as something you should have. And, in truth, when you fall short of their results and level of success, you don’t stop to think about the trials and tribulations they must have gone through to be successful. You can’t see the challenges they had so, to you, those challenges never happened. You have no idea about the level of commitment they have invested, the many shifts and re-directions they have gone through. By comparing your lack of success to their success, you feel inadequate, incapable, and discouraged. However, by acknowledging what you have already accomplished, you will discover the key to your success rather than fretting about what someone else has done. Focus on your path to success; celebrate the small wins, which will reset your thinking. You are enough, and you can make the necessary pattern shift.