Each of us has the potential to be and to do great things, yet we often don’t. And, from my experience, nearly 40 years of training and teaching, there is a very specific and predictable pattern each of us exhibits. And, this pattern serves to sabotage our best dreams, our best hopes for our success. It’s a pattern etched deep inside our head, which seems very logical and reasonable, yet does not serve us well. And, this pattern tends to derail our path to our greater good, our best self. The ability to follow through with the plan for success falls short. It never seems to materialize with the passion and delivery we think and hope it will. So ask yourself, why? Why do I fall short of my dreams, my goals, and my success?
Here’s what I know. There is a specific and deliberate course of action or, more truthfully, inaction you follow. It’s been with you since a very young age, and unless specific steps are taken to release this pattern, you will take it to your grave. You will blame others, look for excuses, and never realize your fullest potential. It’s all about self-doubt. For 20 years, in live programs with thousands of excited participants, I’ve asked this question: What is it that holds you back? And, the answer is the overall feeling of not being “enough.” When stuck in this pattern at least two (2) predictable behaviors are evident.
You need the approval of others to make a decision.
You fear disappointing your family or spouse by making a decision they might not approve. You place undue stress on yourself worrying they will not support you or, worse, they will patronize your decision. You feel stuck in the wait-and-see mode. Rather than listening to your inner wisdom, you bat ideas around in your head trying to talk yourself into or out of the entire decision making process. Self-doubt takes over and you feel helpless, almost paralyzed to act. Think about something you wanted to do and just didn’t follow through with. However, when you decide to go with your gut and with your heart, you are in charge of your outcome, your happiness. Honestly, if I had always listened to others opinions, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’ve learned that by making decisions based on my instincts and my gut, I can create the happiness I deserve.
You compare yourself to everyone else.
If you look at someone who has been in business for several years, you see their success as something you should have. And, in truth, when you fall short of their results and level of success, you don’t stop to think about the trials and tribulations they must have gone through to be successful. You can’t see the challenges they had so, to you, those challenges never happened. You have no idea about the level of commitment they have invested, the many shifts and re-directions they have gone through. By comparing your lack of success to their success, you feel inadequate, incapable and discouraged.
Acknowledging what you have already accomplished, rather than fretting on what someone else has done, is the key to your success. Focus on your path to success; celebrate the small wins which will re-set your thinking, and you will begin to feel happy. This pattern shift will change your life…forever.